» Too Normal?? Me??

It’s kind of frightening to wonder if I might have blown a recent job interview by being too “normal”.

Most of the time, people seem to be very confused as to how they’re supposed to “behave” around people with disabilities, at least in my experience with someone in a wheelchair at any rate. There’s been such an upsurge in “political correctness” that many people are concerned almost to the level of paranoia as to how to handle talking to disabled people.

For example. Is it politically correct to tell someone they have a really cool looking wheelchair? Is it politically correct to ask them questions about how hard it was to learn to use it when they first got it?

Is it politically correct to tell someone they have a really cool looking car, or a very nice outfit on that day? Is it politically correct to ask someone questions about how hard it was to learn to drive that powerful sportscar, or to say how “brave” someone is to go out wearing a particularly scandalous outfit - “I’d never dare go out in something like that”?

It all depends on the wheelie really, and the attitude of the questioner. But somehow we’ve managed to lose sight that someone could possibly ask such questions because they’re actually interested. The disabled community has somehow, in trying to combat the real discrimination out there, create an atmosphere of fear and paranoia that I believe is actually working against us. How? Because it prevents the only true way to battle discrimination - Education, showing people that we’re no different than they are.

When someone has to be concerned at a potential backlash for trying to learn more about us, who we are, why we’re that way, they’re never going to see how we maintain our dignity and humanity despite the obstacles we’re encountering. We’re always going to remain an “unknown” because we’ve somehow persuaded the world that to try to learn anything about us is rude, anti-social, bigoted, discriminatory, and worse. We’re isolating ourselves by creating a shield of ignorance that prevents others from finding out that we’re real people.

I’m kind of odd, really. Once I got used to the Tank (my Quantum Blast 650 - aptly nicknamed!), as far as my own image of myself was concerned, my feet were wheels, and my legs became 300 lbs of steel, plastic, and batteries. And that’s as far as I notice the Tank - I pay as much attention to being in it as I did to being stood upright and walking when I could. I can’t change the fact that I’m in the Tank, so I just accepted it as being a part of my body, no more “different” than my legs and feet.

So for me, someone saying the Tank is a really cool looking powered chair (in purple no less) (which it is, by the way), it’s the same as someone saying that I have pretty ankles (They do, and I do ). I’m not going to complain if someone pays me a compliment, and I’m certainly not going to complain if someone can wrap their head around the same fact of life I had to accept when I got the Tank - It’s a part of me, but it doesn’t define me.

Perhaps that’s the real problem in society … Discrimination wants to define wheelies as being “the person in the wheelchair”, with the emphasis on “the wheelchair”. I define myself as “the person in the wheelchair”, with the emphasis on “the person”. The problem is, the wheelchair is a part of me, so when people look at me, they’re scared they might cause offence, because of “political correctness”. The easiest solution for them is to tiptoe around me at every opportunity, which means they’ll never really get to know me, or be as at ease with this hunk of metal attached to my ass, as I am.

I don’t pay any attention to my Tank, although I’m quite proud to point out it’s just so perfect (thanks to the wizardry of Mark E Smith) it even has a cup holder, and makes large holes in bedroom doors (don’t ask). But it seems to throw people for a loop that I don’t pay attention to it. They’re unsure how to handle a wheelie who is so matter-of-fact about an extension to their body. I don’t act the way wheelies are “supposed” to, that such topics are totally off limits, uncomfortable, or that if you bring it up I’m going to slap you with a discrimination suit. It’s a part of me, it’ll always be a part of me, and you’re just going to have to deal with it. But you can’t deal with it if you don’t know about it, and are afraid to ask.

As long as we have this blanket attitude of “keep away” when it comes to discussing those things that are a -part- of who we are, we’ll never really remove discrimination. If we make such a big deal out of those things that -we- believe separate us from the able-bodied, then those things will always be a big deal to the able bodied. We have to demystify these things through education and starting to -act- like we’re normal people, or else discrimination will never leave - it’ll just stay hidden.

While we’re on the subject, BBC News Online has an amusing article about a pregant woman turned away from a nightclub by the moron on the door.