» Get used to disappointment

What is it about the major studios that they assume that something being a sequel guarantees success even if the sequel is a total pile of horse shit?

I speak, of course, of Aliens vs Predator: Requiem.

Don’t worry, I won’t post any plot spoilers here. Mostly because that would require the film actually have a plot to begin with.

Don’t get me wrong, I know first hand how hard it can be to produce a sequel to a popular work, at least when it comes to writing, but that’s not an excuse to not even try! Would Robert Jordan have become the icon he did if he’d produced worse and worse material with each new Wheel of Time book? Would George Lucas have produced what is arguably the best sequel of science fiction history with Empire Strikes Back if he’d treated it the same, for example, as he did with The Phantom Menace?

Aliens and Predator are both, individually and in AvP, good franchises. Fox squandered a lot with this one, I think, but the question remains, why did they think it would work for them? Are they really that blase about “name recognition” driving people to the next AvP movie that they don’t care how bad this one was?

If that’s the case, it says a lot. Whether it’s about a studio’s opinion of its customers, or those customers themselves being so gullible is one I shudder to consider!

The flip side to my bemusement about AvP:R is this: Someone got paid to write that crap? I have read some fantastic writing on AvP on fanfiction.net, stuff that is miles better than what was made into AvP:R, and I scratch my head wondering why, when admitted amateurs there can produce quality output, something as dire as AvP:R gets bought.

At the end of AvP:R the credits open with “Directed by The Brothers Strause” … I find myself asking if the Brothers Marx would have come up with a movie a little closer to established franchise canons … or, at least, cinematic standards.

And guys, if you’re going to leave the chance for another sequel wide open, you really don’t need to ram it down people’s throats with the subtlety of an alien queen on PMS!

My advice? Instead of paying for movie tickets, spend the cash on a bowl of microwave popcorn, sprawl on the floor in front of your TV, pop Aliens into your DVD players, sit back and enjoy. Really, it’s pretty much the same - AvP:R even rips the musical themes, just without that scoring magic James Horner brought to the classic. Saves you money, and saves you having to sit through something that almost, but not quite, never makes it close to decent.

Tags: alien, alien vs predator, avp:r, crap movies, predator