Download this page in PDF formatI was catching up on my Twitter friends’ feed this evening while waiting for a render to complete, and noticed a mini-rant from Yasmine Galenorn, the author of the Sisters of The Moon novels. With her kind permission, I’m reposting it here to give some context on my own thoughts:
Thanks for bearing with the reposts 
So, what’s my point to all this, you ask?
In the tweets she made, as well as a follow-up blog post, Yasmine hit several nails on the head, both about society’s “expectations”, and how to look at those expectations.
In her succinct style, she titled her blog post perfectly – “Just Freaking Do It” – and here’s my take.
If you’ve read my bio and interests, you already know that I’ve had a pretty busy life. In almost every part of it I’ve had to face people telling me what I can’t do.
I had people tell me I couldn’t make it in the service because I’m a woman.
Except I was damned good at what I did, the fact I’m still alive is the only proof of that that matters.
The same when I was involved in close protection.
Except I was damned good at that too, and never lost a principal.
When I ended up in the wheelchair, society seemed to be of the opinion that my life was over, and I wouldn’t amount to anything because I was a cripple.
I had people imply I wasn’t worth their time. Interviews that were desultory when they saw the wheelchair, even one time when I was turned away from the *interview*.
They told me I’d not walk again and should be used to the chair. I’m busy proving them wrong with the help of a great physiotherapist who’s helping me to get the most out of my legs possible – and my record of walking with the braces stands at 1 1/2 miles.
They told me I probably wouldn’t find meaningful employment because I’m disabled. So I work for myself instead, and get to explore a wonderful alternative universe again through my writings (even if my editing skills leave somewhat to be desired)
Right now, I’m busy creating the illustrations and cover art for a new solo adventure for Ken St Andre’s Tunnels and Trolls – and in doing so I’m fulfilling a dream I’ve had ever since I was a kid. I’m actually doing art for the roleplaying game I grew up to. Me. I’d never have imagined myself doing it when I was a kid, but here I am doing just that.
If I’d listened to all of those experiences and conversations of people telling me what they think I can’t do, then I’d be a burbling basket case in the house.
To paraphrase Jake Sully from Avatar, “I got tired of people telling me what I can’t do”.
The point is: Everyone has been so busy telling me what I can’t do, because I’m a girl, because I’m a cripple, or whatever else they’re using to base their assumptions on – and I don’t give a shit. I prove them all wrong every day.
Is it easy? Not a chance. There are days when it hurts just to breathe, days when I don’t want to get out of bed, nights when the dreams come back of things in the service best left undescribed.
But really, everyone else has their own demons to conquer, to accept. I’m no different from them except in one thing.
I haven’t given up on me, and won’t – even if “they” have and do.
Nothing in life comes easy – cripple or woman or healthy or a man. What defines us isn’t what other people think of us, but what we, ourselves, do.
And the first thing to do is ignore the people who say “you can’t” – and prove them wrong every day. If you want it, grab it, work at it, and make it yours, whatever it is.
Yasmine said it perfectly: Just Freaking Do It
Shortlink for this post: http://wp.me/p2cbiZ-jv
You know what my choices in life are. They are choices that not everyone is willing to make, or so I heard. Yet choices that you end up making because if not you sell yourself short.
If there is a way to become a happier person, go that way. Yes life will throw you all kinds of obstacles to take, and sometimes they are too big to contemplate, then don't contemplate them, take the obstacle, or die trying. At least you died striving for your own happiness. No one can decide for you what that happiness is, or if you have a right to it.
Maybe I do have it easy. Somehow living in the Netherlands has great advantages, and being in the circle I frequent helps as well. Tolerance and acceptance within the society you live in have a great impact on how big the obstacles are that are thrown to you, but also the mentality that you display.
No matter what sweet sis, YOU have the backbone of a dinosaur, and you can tell them all "Je kunt mijn rug op" – Dutch saying, roughly translated, "You can get on my back", explicit meaning however is less friendly and more direct, "Go F$%# yourself"